Truths

I am really, really not sure what God is trying to teach me in my life right now. There have been passing blips of time where I think I might catch a glimpse of His greater purpose in all the drama that is going on in my neighborhood with my controversial garden trellises. But then I get thrown a curve ball and I find myself back a square one, peeling back my clenched fists and surrendering to that fact that I don't know the end to this story yet.

When things feel uncertain, all I can do is remember what IS certain. And these are the truths God is giving me to rest in today:

1. I am a strong and courageous woman.
2. My allegiance is to my Maker and Him alone.
3. I can be out of control and deeply hurt by others and still be ok.
4. God knows me and He loves me.
5. We are called to live out our convictions every single day, in every single setting, not just on at church on Sundays. EVERY word and every action should point to Christ.
6. We are to trust that the Lord isn't done and welcome the Holy Spirit back, even when it feels hard.

I am a strong and courageous woman.
I beginning to realize that it's not every girl who would take it upon themselves to show up alone on the doorstep of the HOA president who has ignored 3 prior requests to meet in person to have a heart-to-heart and attempt to "clear the air." Strong and courageous? Yes. A tad bit crazy? Absolutely.

My allegiance is to my Maker and Him alone.
I really don't know what the right answer is in this situation. I know what I believe to be the legal "right" answer but I also know that at times Christ call us to concede. Someone is going to end up disappointed here - either those who are accusing me of "farming" or myself. Whatever the outcome, I need to take confidence in whom I am on this earth to serve and experience freedom in that.

I can be out of control and deeply hurt by others and still be ok.
This is a really hard one but I'm learning it is true. Case in point: my meeting with the president. It was painful and words that were said that were hurtful, offensive and infuriating. And yet, I'm still here and I'm going to be ok.

God knows me and he loves me.
He knows my heart. He knows my intentions. He knows my passions and dreams and desires. He cares for me even when it feels like He's allowing others to threaten and steal my joy. I don't have to explain myself to Him.

We are called to live out our convictions every single day, in every single setting, not just on at church on Sundays. EVERY word and every action should point to Christ.
I know we hear this one all the time, you guys, but this week I learned on the receiving end just how painful it can be when the "weekday Christian" takes over and we let our convictions slide. We might be someone's only opportunity to see Christ and how we treat them in every interaction matters.

We are to trust that the Lord isn't done and welcome the Holy Spirit back, even when it feels hard. 
I'm a work in progress with this one for sure! The reason I went and knocked on the president's door last week was because I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit. I literally knew it was what I had to do. But, our interaction was terrible and I ended up in tears not once but TWICE standing there on his front porch. On Sunday at church we were challenged again to always listen to the conviction of Spirit. My first reaction? Heck no! I tried that LAST week and where did it get me? But God continues to reveal to me that the story isn't over and I need to trust His leading.

It's D-day over here y'all, the night our long-awaited HOA meeting. I am hoping and praying that come bedtime, all the drama over my garden will be behind us. Yet past experience informs me this is rather unlikely. I'm baffled. And really, really hurt. But instead of letting myself be consumed by doubt, I'm going to do my best to lean into these truths.

Prayers appreciated, my friends!